On My Own: Day 2

Today was my second day on my own. Today made yesterday seem like a blissful day in heaven. I can pretty much tell you about my day by telling you my lunch break was at 5pm and I only had time to eat a granola bar.

Yes that is right. Today I arrived at work at 6:30 am, took 5 minutes at 5pm to avoid slipping into a coma, and clocked out at 8:46pm. My sweet, sweet husband met me at Amigo's for 75 cent taco night. I self medicated with a Dr. Pepper. That seemed to take the edge off. ;)

I had six patients today. I felt like I was in a tornado. Hard to explain. It's like one of my dreams when I have a ton of patients and they all need me and I can't get to them. I have to stop myself and say: First I will go to my pt with a blood sugar of 35 [no seriously, this is a true story] and once I pull some Dextrose, give it, and make sure my patient doesn't go unconscious, I can go to my patient that is having chest pain at a level of 9 out of 10 and give him morphine. Then I can go to my next patient and explain why her MD discontinued all of her pain medicine. FUN! Then I can start my assessments (which is what I was supposed to be doing this entire time) and maybe chart some.

But really, I am loving my job. I truly love to help people. And I hate to pass up my patient with horrible sharp chest pain to help another patient, but I am really only one person. I don't like days like today because I feel like I don't get to do everything I need to do for my patients. I don't get to teach them about their condition, I don't get to talk to them about their concerns, I don't get to talk to them about their family, and I don't get to walk with them in the hallway. I just do what I can. One day I hope to eat at normal times, have bathroom breaks, and be able to spend time with my patients....is that too much to ask?!? :) Probably. :)

I had a great day at work today. It seems like I'm always talking about work. I just want to remember how I was feeling during my first year of nursing. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the idea of being on my own. Which is a good thing because tomorrow is my last day of having a preceptor. Yikes! My preceptor has been great. He has taught me a lot and doesn't make me feel like a complete idiot.
I made my first medication error a few weeks ago. I gave 8 units of Insulin instead of 4. I knew what the blood sugar was that i was covering; I was even looking right at the sliding scale. But somehow my eyes drifted to the next level and I gave twice as much. It was horrible. Well....the mistake ended up not being horrible. Her blood sugar only dropped to 131. But I was so mad at myself. I am so careful when I give meds. I was so upset that it happened. I was holding back tears until Michael, my preceptor, was trying to tell me it was no big deal. Then I started crying. I'm not sure which was more embarrassing...making the mistake or crying in front of people. I had to file a report online, and tell my shift leader. Of course everyone was telling me that everyone will make mistakes, but it didn't help.

Anyway, so on Aug 15 i start on my own. I'm not as nervous as I thought I'd be.

We have a lot going on right now. Lots of youth events, a few weddings coming up, classes through the hospital, and a trip to Indiana in a few weeks. I hope I can start blogging more often.

I can't believe time is passing so quickly. In just a few more weeks I will be on my own. Yikes. There is so much still to learn! I am finally starting to feel like I am getting the hang of things. I am still pretty nervous when I have to call a doctor or when a family member asks me a question I don't know the answer to. I still feel like I am behind all day, and I am rushing to get things wrapped up in time for shift change...and I am usually leaving 30-45 minutes late. On Saturday I actually sat down for about 20 minutes and I didn't have anything to do. It was an odd feeling.

We went to Dollywood on Tuesday with the middle school students. It was so crowded, but we had fun. I rained toward the end of the day, so we got rain checks and we are going back next tuesday.

I've been on a gluten free diet for about 3 weeks now. Not seeing much of a difference. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that. Happy because maybe it's not Celiac's Disease. Sad because if it was Celiac's Disease at least I would be in controll of fixing it....and if it's not CD...then what is it? I finally found a GF bread that is kind of normal. It's $6 for a small loaf, but I think I will try to make some croutons and bread crumbs out of it. I'm not much of a sandwich eater anyway. I want to try to make one new recipe per week, but our schedule has been so busy we haven't had much time. We have made GF Crepes, GF mac and cheese, GF cornbread, and Shepard's pie (which is normally GF, but I found a awesome recipe for a crock pot).

Last night I made a bean soup and cooked it in the crock pot over night. This morning when I woke up, I went downstairs to pack some for my luch. I got a quick taste and as a result got what might be a 3rd degree burn on the roof of my mouth.

I knew it was going to be a bad day.

Actually the whole day wasn't bad. Only the beginning and the end. Work was ok at first. I have felt kind of overwhelmed this week. I started out orientation with one patient. The next week I was supposed to have two patients. Well, that week I was actually only on the floor one of those days and the other days we had orientation/computer training classes. So then I went on vacation for a week, and when I cam back...BAM...I had 3 patients, and today I had 4. Of course I am still under a preceptor, but I am expected to do most everything on my own. I thought I was doing ok today, we discharged one patient and then got another one a couple of hours later. My first admission. (Which by the way, I can't believe I've gone this long without doing one!) Anyway, it was like 30 minutes before shift change.. and there were several things I hadn't completed on my other charts. Poor time management on my part for sure! I was running around like a crazy person, asking a bazillion questions, probably driving all the other nurses crazy. Long story short, I left feeling like a frustrated a couple of nurses, and I left without finishing everything I should have. What a bad nurse I am.

So tonight I made brownies. Gluten free brownies. That's right I'm back on the gluten free diet. Hooray. :/

Welp, I passed NCLEX. I am an official RN. It feels strange. It's time to start saving lives. ;0) I am really liking the unit I am on; I just don't feel like a real nurse yet. I wonder when that feeling will come. There is still so much I haven't done. LIke page/call doctors. I've only had to page a doctor once, and I ended up talking to a resident, and she was really nice to me :). Anyway, the thought of talking to a doctor scares me still.

We were in Colorado last week. We went to visit Brad's grandmother. Brad parent's flew with us and Monica's family met us there. We had a lot of fun, and got to go up to the mountains for a couple of days. We went to the lake that Brad and his grandparents would go for summer vacations. It was neat seeing all the places that were special to him. We got a lot of amazing pictures. I'll try to post them soom.

NCLEX update :) / :(

I took my NCLEX yesterday (nursing state boards). It was pretty difficult. I think I did ok, but I won't know until Tuesday. I still have a long time left in orientation. So I won't be on my own as a nurse until probably around Auguest or September. I'm ok with that because I have a lot of confidence to gain. I got a job on a cardiac step down floor. I love it so far, and my manager is super sweet. The only thing I don't like right now is that I have to work 8 hour shifts for the first 4 weeks. Ew! How do normal people work 8 hour shifts EVERYDAY?!!? I would take three 12 hour shift over five 8 hour shifts anyday. I'm definitely missing my days off.

Changes

I can't believe I have not updated this thing in so long! So much has happened!

I GRADUATED!! I have my BSN and I'm ready to change the world!! It doesn't really feel finished yet because I still have to study for and take my state boards. Also the orientation process is pretty long, so it will be a while before I think I will feel like a real nurse. I know I will feel scared, nervous, and anxious, but I'm excited to begin this new journey. My graduation present is a neeeeew camera!! And it is amazing!

The Job: My job fell through, and my manager didn't inform me until two days before graduation. Yay. The unit I was supposed to be working on is closing (I still have no idea why)so I was told to find another position. So now I have an interview on Monday for a cardiac floor which I'm pretty excited about. I think God has a better plan than I had for myself.

Good-byes: Some of our very best friends, Faith and Aaron, are moving far, far away. I don't think I've ever had to deal with a friend moving away, so I know this will be hard. Brad and I have fallen in love with this family! :(

Vacation: We went on a 5-day vacation with the Faith,Aaron and Brittany and all the kids! It was a so much fun! Someone at work asked why in the world we would go on vacation with adults that had kids, but we had a blast! We truly love those kids! We went to Dollywood and WonderWorks, and we went shopping one day (well, kind of two days) The cabin was great and the weather was beautiful! Oh, and Faith dyed my hair brown :)