Work Update and a Broken Nose

My days at work have been getting better. Thank goodness! My days still fly by. I don't know how to explain it. I'm just in a constant busy state..and I'm constantly running out of time. And before I know it, its 6:00 and I'm scrambling to get my stuff done before shift change.

My patience was tested today and yesterday. I have had a patient who is constantly telling me that the Dr. has ordered certain medications/procedures, and I check the orders, and tell her that no, the MD didn't order that. Then she absolutely insists upon me calling the doctor, because he has "surely made a mistake" and he is a resident, and residents don't know any thing. I called the doctor (bless his heart- he was very nice and understanding) on 4 separate occasions about 4 different things. It was beyond ridiculous. That is the only way I can explain it.

I think I broke my nose. Yes. Brad and I were playing basketball with our high school students on Wednesday, and Brad and I went after the ball at the same time. Brad rose up with the ball and his head met my nose. I heard it pop. I'm not sure if that means it fractured...but it is (still ) swollen and a little bruised. It's so sore! I don't really want a xray because I know they won't do anything for it unless it needs to be reset...and i don't think it is crooked or anything...at least I hope not.

On My Own: Day 2

Today was my second day on my own. Today made yesterday seem like a blissful day in heaven. I can pretty much tell you about my day by telling you my lunch break was at 5pm and I only had time to eat a granola bar.

Yes that is right. Today I arrived at work at 6:30 am, took 5 minutes at 5pm to avoid slipping into a coma, and clocked out at 8:46pm. My sweet, sweet husband met me at Amigo's for 75 cent taco night. I self medicated with a Dr. Pepper. That seemed to take the edge off. ;)

I had six patients today. I felt like I was in a tornado. Hard to explain. It's like one of my dreams when I have a ton of patients and they all need me and I can't get to them. I have to stop myself and say: First I will go to my pt with a blood sugar of 35 [no seriously, this is a true story] and once I pull some Dextrose, give it, and make sure my patient doesn't go unconscious, I can go to my patient that is having chest pain at a level of 9 out of 10 and give him morphine. Then I can go to my next patient and explain why her MD discontinued all of her pain medicine. FUN! Then I can start my assessments (which is what I was supposed to be doing this entire time) and maybe chart some.

But really, I am loving my job. I truly love to help people. And I hate to pass up my patient with horrible sharp chest pain to help another patient, but I am really only one person. I don't like days like today because I feel like I don't get to do everything I need to do for my patients. I don't get to teach them about their condition, I don't get to talk to them about their concerns, I don't get to talk to them about their family, and I don't get to walk with them in the hallway. I just do what I can. One day I hope to eat at normal times, have bathroom breaks, and be able to spend time with my patients....is that too much to ask?!? :) Probably. :)

I had a great day at work today. It seems like I'm always talking about work. I just want to remember how I was feeling during my first year of nursing. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the idea of being on my own. Which is a good thing because tomorrow is my last day of having a preceptor. Yikes! My preceptor has been great. He has taught me a lot and doesn't make me feel like a complete idiot.
I made my first medication error a few weeks ago. I gave 8 units of Insulin instead of 4. I knew what the blood sugar was that i was covering; I was even looking right at the sliding scale. But somehow my eyes drifted to the next level and I gave twice as much. It was horrible. Well....the mistake ended up not being horrible. Her blood sugar only dropped to 131. But I was so mad at myself. I am so careful when I give meds. I was so upset that it happened. I was holding back tears until Michael, my preceptor, was trying to tell me it was no big deal. Then I started crying. I'm not sure which was more embarrassing...making the mistake or crying in front of people. I had to file a report online, and tell my shift leader. Of course everyone was telling me that everyone will make mistakes, but it didn't help.

Anyway, so on Aug 15 i start on my own. I'm not as nervous as I thought I'd be.

We have a lot going on right now. Lots of youth events, a few weddings coming up, classes through the hospital, and a trip to Indiana in a few weeks. I hope I can start blogging more often.

I can't believe time is passing so quickly. In just a few more weeks I will be on my own. Yikes. There is so much still to learn! I am finally starting to feel like I am getting the hang of things. I am still pretty nervous when I have to call a doctor or when a family member asks me a question I don't know the answer to. I still feel like I am behind all day, and I am rushing to get things wrapped up in time for shift change...and I am usually leaving 30-45 minutes late. On Saturday I actually sat down for about 20 minutes and I didn't have anything to do. It was an odd feeling.

We went to Dollywood on Tuesday with the middle school students. It was so crowded, but we had fun. I rained toward the end of the day, so we got rain checks and we are going back next tuesday.

I've been on a gluten free diet for about 3 weeks now. Not seeing much of a difference. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that. Happy because maybe it's not Celiac's Disease. Sad because if it was Celiac's Disease at least I would be in controll of fixing it....and if it's not CD...then what is it? I finally found a GF bread that is kind of normal. It's $6 for a small loaf, but I think I will try to make some croutons and bread crumbs out of it. I'm not much of a sandwich eater anyway. I want to try to make one new recipe per week, but our schedule has been so busy we haven't had much time. We have made GF Crepes, GF mac and cheese, GF cornbread, and Shepard's pie (which is normally GF, but I found a awesome recipe for a crock pot).

Last night I made a bean soup and cooked it in the crock pot over night. This morning when I woke up, I went downstairs to pack some for my luch. I got a quick taste and as a result got what might be a 3rd degree burn on the roof of my mouth.

I knew it was going to be a bad day.

Actually the whole day wasn't bad. Only the beginning and the end. Work was ok at first. I have felt kind of overwhelmed this week. I started out orientation with one patient. The next week I was supposed to have two patients. Well, that week I was actually only on the floor one of those days and the other days we had orientation/computer training classes. So then I went on vacation for a week, and when I cam back...BAM...I had 3 patients, and today I had 4. Of course I am still under a preceptor, but I am expected to do most everything on my own. I thought I was doing ok today, we discharged one patient and then got another one a couple of hours later. My first admission. (Which by the way, I can't believe I've gone this long without doing one!) Anyway, it was like 30 minutes before shift change.. and there were several things I hadn't completed on my other charts. Poor time management on my part for sure! I was running around like a crazy person, asking a bazillion questions, probably driving all the other nurses crazy. Long story short, I left feeling like a frustrated a couple of nurses, and I left without finishing everything I should have. What a bad nurse I am.

So tonight I made brownies. Gluten free brownies. That's right I'm back on the gluten free diet. Hooray. :/

Welp, I passed NCLEX. I am an official RN. It feels strange. It's time to start saving lives. ;0) I am really liking the unit I am on; I just don't feel like a real nurse yet. I wonder when that feeling will come. There is still so much I haven't done. LIke page/call doctors. I've only had to page a doctor once, and I ended up talking to a resident, and she was really nice to me :). Anyway, the thought of talking to a doctor scares me still.

We were in Colorado last week. We went to visit Brad's grandmother. Brad parent's flew with us and Monica's family met us there. We had a lot of fun, and got to go up to the mountains for a couple of days. We went to the lake that Brad and his grandparents would go for summer vacations. It was neat seeing all the places that were special to him. We got a lot of amazing pictures. I'll try to post them soom.

NCLEX update :) / :(

I took my NCLEX yesterday (nursing state boards). It was pretty difficult. I think I did ok, but I won't know until Tuesday. I still have a long time left in orientation. So I won't be on my own as a nurse until probably around Auguest or September. I'm ok with that because I have a lot of confidence to gain. I got a job on a cardiac step down floor. I love it so far, and my manager is super sweet. The only thing I don't like right now is that I have to work 8 hour shifts for the first 4 weeks. Ew! How do normal people work 8 hour shifts EVERYDAY?!!? I would take three 12 hour shift over five 8 hour shifts anyday. I'm definitely missing my days off.

Changes

I can't believe I have not updated this thing in so long! So much has happened!

I GRADUATED!! I have my BSN and I'm ready to change the world!! It doesn't really feel finished yet because I still have to study for and take my state boards. Also the orientation process is pretty long, so it will be a while before I think I will feel like a real nurse. I know I will feel scared, nervous, and anxious, but I'm excited to begin this new journey. My graduation present is a neeeeew camera!! And it is amazing!

The Job: My job fell through, and my manager didn't inform me until two days before graduation. Yay. The unit I was supposed to be working on is closing (I still have no idea why)so I was told to find another position. So now I have an interview on Monday for a cardiac floor which I'm pretty excited about. I think God has a better plan than I had for myself.

Good-byes: Some of our very best friends, Faith and Aaron, are moving far, far away. I don't think I've ever had to deal with a friend moving away, so I know this will be hard. Brad and I have fallen in love with this family! :(

Vacation: We went on a 5-day vacation with the Faith,Aaron and Brittany and all the kids! It was a so much fun! Someone at work asked why in the world we would go on vacation with adults that had kids, but we had a blast! We truly love those kids! We went to Dollywood and WonderWorks, and we went shopping one day (well, kind of two days) The cabin was great and the weather was beautiful! Oh, and Faith dyed my hair brown :)

Forever 12. No, seriously...forever.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I took my Mamaw to the ER while we were at the hospital visiting my Papaw. The triage nurse asks her how old she is.

Mamaw answers, "86"
The nurse looks up in shock. "You can NOT be 86 years old!! You don't look older than 65! I just can't believe that!"

And this, my friends, is why I still look 12 years old.

Oh my, my, my. I thought I was going to have a relaxing weekend/week, but I was wrong. My grandparents (who live in Knoxville) were in a car wreck on Thursday. My papaw broke his wrist and something in his neck. He spent a couple of days in the ICU, but is now on a stepdown unit. My dad, Rachel and I were able to go down there on Sunday after church. Both my mamaw and papaw are not happy about the fact that he will probably have to go to a rehab facility for a couple of weeks. They think that rehab = nursing home..and of course no one wants to go to a nursing home. We were hoping to convince them that this is the best [only] option, but there is no changing their mind! Anyway, while at the hospital yesterday my mamaw starting having chest pain..so I freaked out and took her down the the ER. All the test came back negative, so we think it is just the stress.

I am so thankful that I had several days off in a row (for the first time in months) and I was able to go down there with my dad. I was glad I was able to be there with them. I wasn't exactly happy with the care, but I guess I'm thankful for the experience of the 'family' aspect of floor nursing.

I have class tomorrow, and then my LAST day of clinicals on Thursday. Yay!

It's been a while. I've been crazy busy, especially the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to finish up my 240 clinical hours and I have 12 hours left!! So exciting. I can't believe I'm so close to graduating. It's such an odd feeling. I always thought I'd feel ready by my last semester, but I feel like there is so much left to learn.

Today I turned in all my information to take my state boards. To get my licensed processed I had to pay $100 today. I also had to pay $48 to get finger printed for a back ground check. Apparently they do finger prints these days. $8 for passport photos for my license. $8 for my BSN pin for pinning ceremony. $38 for my first set of galaxy blue scrubs. I think all I have left to pay is $200 to take my boards..and another set of scrubs. Yay.

This Friday I take the HESI at 9am. We have to pass this to graduate, and although we get more than one attempt, I would really [REALLY] like to pass it the first time. We took a mid-curricular HESI about this time last year, it didn't even really matter (because we didn't have to pass it), but I was still a nervous wreck. In fact the I rushed through the last 10 questions because I was so anxious about seeing my score. I actually did very well. I surprised myself. I sat there staring at the screen thinking something went wrong.

Well ANYWAY, I took this whole week off from work and clinicals so I could get some extra studying in. At this point I'm not sure how much more studying I CAN take in. I think tomorrow will be my off-day. Kinda like when I ran cross-country and track in high school...ya never work out the day before the race. :) That will be my excuse anyway. Maybe I'll do some therapeutic scrapbooking.

This is in memory of the Krispy Kreme in Kingsport that closed this week [sad face]:

In Yo' Dreams

It all started back when I began to work at the good ole Bob Evans. I would have these crazy dreams that I had a ton of tables and they all wanted something, but I couldn't get to them and they were getting more and more mad. I would wake up from these dreams but go right back to sleep and start dreaming it again. To stop this cycle I would have to convince my sleepy self to wake up enough to realize it was 3am and The Bob wasn't open at 3am.

When I started working at the hospital as a CNA I started having dreams that I had a lot of patients that were really, really sick or in a lot of pain and I would keep trying to get to them to help them but I couldn't. I would kind of wake up (you know, that stage between awake and sleep?) but I couldn't convince myself that it was ok at 3am because hospitals are always open! Duh! That probably doesn't make much sense to anyone, but it happened. The dreams went away eventually, but now the are BACK! I'm having those type dreams again, and I think it is because I am getting anxious about being a RN.

IRONY

In the 60 seconds that I was outside of my house today, a bird pooped in my hair...while I was cleaning bird poop off our grill.

I just thought you should know.

High of 67

Today I wore short-sleeves and flip-flops, and I opened my new sunroof. It was beyond fun. :)

I made meatloaf for the first time and decided it took way too long to prepare. I don't have time for that kind of nonsense. In the future I will hire my husband to do all the chopping of veggies. He's good at that because he likes to play with knifes. My sister came over while my parents when out for their [31st] anniversary. We watched a movie and danced like crazy people to the music at the end.

Story Time: laugh and giggle night

When I was a small tot I had this awesome bed that had a trundle bed that everyone and their sister was jealous of. In case you don't know, a trundle bed is a bed that is on rollers and it stores under another bed. Everyone that spend the night with me thought it was so cool. ;)

Anyway, my twin brother Allen and I loved to camp out in each other's room (he shared a room with my older brother Christopher). He didn't mind my pink walls because of the aforementioned awesome trundle bed. So I would always ask my mom if Allen could sleep in my room. My mom would say yes,then we would get in trouble because Allen would always make me laugh because he would do crazy and goofy things. My mom would say "You guys can not laugh and giggle all night or you'll have to sleep in your own rooms." And so Allen and I asked if we went to bed earlier then would we be able to laugh and giggle if we wanted to? She said YES...and thus we called this night LAUGH and GIGGLE NIGHT. We would ask if we could have a laugh and giggle night and my mom would say yes if we went to bed 30 minutes early...and scramble to get ready in time.

I hope I never forget this memory...that's why I'm putting it here.

Seat Warmers= Happiness

We are getting a new car!! Well, a used car, but you know what I mean. It's a navy blue Honda Accord (nice family car, don't you think?). It has a sun roof! More importantly it has SEAT WARMERS!! I am one of those people who will use the seat warmers in the middle of July just because it makes me feels cozy. There is the most amazing part of this story:

My dear, sweet, handsome, awesome, lovely husband is letting ME drive the new car, and he's going to drive my Civic!! He loves me!! I think that is just precious. He is so good to me. :) I'll post a picture soon.

5 Random Things You May/May Not Care About

1. Once I get more time…I think I will begin my quest as a hard-core couponer.

2. Thanks to the Newlywed Nine (x 2-yikes!) my rings need to be resized! When I wake up my fingers are extra swollen, and I can feel my pulse in my ring finger. Is that normal?

3. I have officially accepted a RN position on 3400 at JCMC. :)

4. Babysitting precious babies makes me want babies.

5. I found out that the GPA that determines if you graduate with honors doesn’t include your last semester. I was right at the lowest GPA for honors, so I was thinking I would have to make an A in my classes this last semester to still graduate with honors. HA! Now it doesn’t matter (as long as I still graduate, of course)! That’s what you call under-achieving while still over-achieving!!!

This Weekend

This semester I have been the ultimate slacker. We finally have our first exam on Wednesday. The focus is more on our 240 clinical hours we have to put in and of course reviewing old material for HESI and NCLEX. HESI is a practice type of test that ETSU requires us to pass before we graduate. It is formatted similar to the NCLEX which is our state boards we must pass to get licensed. Our HESI is coming up like...NEXT month!! Yikes. I feel like I've not put as much time into preparing for those test as I should.

Well anyway, this weekend has been relaxing...and I even got some studying accomplished. Tonight we rushed home from community groups so Brad could watch the Olympic USA v Canada hockey game. Unfortunately our basic cable wasn't carrying it, so we flew over to a sports grill to watch it. There were a few other people watching it and cheering pretty loudly (probably bc they were drunk) but you could tell they didn't really know that much about hockey. Brad was clearly the only overly excited one there. Hehe. It was precious.

This is my little hockey player...down there in the right hand corner. :)

1st Nursing Interview!! Yikes!

So I had my first nursing interview today. I really wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. It almost seemed like I was interviewing the manager instead of the other way around. She really only asked my two questions about myself. Strange. The unit i interviewed for is considered a step-down (from ICU)...but I consider it med-surg. Eh. If you had asked me a month ago about a medical/surgical floor I would have said a big NO. THANK. YOU. But i guess the possibility of a job (anywhere) is exciting to me, so I can picture myself working on that unit. :/ The nurse to pt ratio is 1:5. yuck. That is a lot of patients. Especially compared to the 1:1-2 for an ICU nurse.

The main thing about this position that like is that it is a day shift. So I have to ask myself: Self, do I want to sacrifice a job that I prefer so that I can work an easier schedule? Or do I want to sacrifice a preferable schedule for a better position? Self says not feeling exhausted all the time matters more. :/

Another thing that excites me about this floor is that it is also used as an overflow for pediatrics and post-postpartum pts. So this unit doesn't always have peds/OB patients, but on occasion I would get to work with some kiddos and mommies :).

Anyway, the manager said she would be in touch with me within the week. At the end of the interview she made it sound like there is more than one person interested in the job, but during the interview she made it sound like I was the only one...so...I don't really know what to think. Hopefully I will talk to the VA during the next week and see what they have to offer.

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All full of questions,
April

Graduation is scary. Very scary. Beyond the aspect of accidentally killing someone, it is scary to think about where I will work and why I want to work there. Will I like it? Am I settling for something less than what I really want? For about a year now I have said I was hoping to start out in an ICU. Here are the questions I am now asking myself.

1.) Why do I really want to start out in the ICU? I think ICU interests me because I know I will learn how to stabilize patients and I will (hopefully) learn how to keep them stable. I guess I feel like that will make me feel confident in my nursing abilities...kind of like I can handle more.

2.) Why do I need to feel that confidence? Because I'm afraid of the feeling that my own lack of knowledge harmed someone.

3.) Will I be disappointed if I don't get an ICU position? Yes. I think. Maybe? I don't really know.

4.) If I don't start out in ICU, will I want to work there eventually? I don't think so...but perhaps?

5.Where else do I eventually want to work? I can definitely see myself in an ED somewhere. I would also like to eventually try out Labor and Delivery! :) yay babies!

6.) Days or Nights? Daaaaays! please, please days!! Nights and I don't function well together!



Sooo... i have an interview TOMORROW on a step down unit! I don't know exactly how i feel about it yet! Kind of excited about the possibility of having a job, but kind of bummed that it's not my ideal starting point. I don't know if I should take this job while it is available...or hold out for a better one.

Must...Touch...Eyelashes

If I were ever to attend a support group this is how I would introduce myself:

"Hi. My name is April, and I have OCD tendencies that involve touching/pulling at/out my eye lashes."

The first step is admitting I have a problem right?!? Ok so seriously I have a problem that involve my eyelashes. It started in high school when I started wearing mascara. The feeling of clumped eyelashes drove me crazy, so I would pick at the mascara until it was practically all off. Anyway, it became a habit and pretty soon I was messing with my lashes even when I didn't have make-up on.
Fast forward to present day. I wouldn't actually say it is obsessive or compulsive, but sometimes it feels like it because when I intentionally try to not to, my hands feel....anxious. And the second I stop thinking about not touching them...my fingers are at my eyeball...squishing/pulling/tugging at my eyelashes. My lashes literally have split ends because i mess with them so much. My theory is that they fall out easier because they are weaker, but the truth is sometimes I do pull them out. :/ Embarrassing. I don't really get mad at myself about it until I have gaps in my eye lash line.

If I ever end up with no eyelashes, you will know what happened. :)

Why I Am Returning Back to My Blogging Days

I blog because I have a bad memory. Like really bad. I remember major events, but maybe not some of the details. I think this is why I scrapbook like an old lady. When I see a picture from a certain day, it helps me remember that day, what I was thinking, how I was feeling, ect. It's funny how a simple picture can do that for me. I guess that's why I like photography so much. One of my favorite things to do is look at my scrapbook pages I have completed. In fact, when my best friend (and scrapbook partner) Amanda and I get together to scrapbook the first hour or so (literally) is spent looking back on all our old scrapbook and laughing our heads off. "Remember that?!?"

ANYWAY, I started blogging (if that's what you call it) back in high school on a site called xanga. www.xanga.com/secondtwinbyaminute That slowly died out when facebook came along. But facebook isn't really a blog, its like a stalking website (which I still use...to stalk people :) ) So I'm blogging again to remind my future self how I felt adjusting to my role as a new graduate nurse, an amateur photographer, and a youth pastor's wife. :)

Me and some of my "nursing friends." Me, Nickie, Joshua, and Dorie

Happy Birthday Sawyer!

I had the amazing opportunity to photography the birth of a beautiful baby boy born to Robby and Amy Franklin. They named him Sawyer. :) It was a wonderful experience, and I was very honored they asked me to do it!

They happy little family on day 2.
Baby feet are so precious:

I can't get over how cute this is:

Look! I made it in this one! :)

Snow Fizzle

I'm back! Who's proud? The snow storm I talked about in my last post was, what my family refers to as, a 'fizzle.' Whereas 4.5 inches is a good amount for around here, when they call for 12 inches for daaaays...it's somewhat disappointing. We had a lot of fun anyway. If you call working on a ten foot snowman for two hours fun. :)

No seriously. It was ten feet!

We did have a lot of fun...and a lot of sore muscles!! Mom took some great pictures that I can't waaaaait to scrapbook. :) On Sunday after church we went sledding with 'our kids'- our youth group from church. It was THE steepest/longest/scariest hill/mountain i've ever sledded down. For a couple of the students , it was their first time ever! I only went down 3 times because the walk back up was putting me into respiratory distress!! I would post pictures of that, but this blog is making me suicidal. It posts the picture to the top of the post then it won't let you cut and paste it to the bottom with the text it belongs to! Geezo.

Snowed in with the Fam

They are calling for snow in the Tri-Cities (again). Brad and I decided to get snowed in at my parents. Luckily we all got home before the snow started...unlike last time before Christmas when it took Brad and my parents 5 hours to get home. Anyway...now we are all just waiting for the snow. We have all made official predictions of how much snow we will have by 4pm. :) Of course my dad always over-predicts so his is the highest: 9.75 lowest prediction is Brad with 6.25. It's going to crack me up if we only get 2 inches. :) It kind of won't surprise me though.

The boys (Dad, Brad, and Allen) and Rachel are playing Wii, Christopher is on his computer, and Mom and I are facebooking and blogging. :) I love how my mom has a facebook. hehe. She's awesome. The rest of the nights festivities include cooking tapioca pudding, watching American Idol on the DVR and waiting/wanting for more snow so we can go sledding tomorrow.

oh..and yay for my first blog!